The Urban Bane of Sciuridae

By Dolly Dearner

What animal has a fluffy tail and a cute little face, and scampers around the yard and up and down the trees?  If you said “squirrels,” you are right.

What animal digs random holes in your garden, plants pecan seedlings that are devilishly hard to remove, and steals tomatoes from your vines?  If you said “squirrels,” then you are right again.  

 A squirrel that lives in a neighboring tree struts around our back yard acting entitled. He digs into potted plants and uproots seedlings from the garden. Last summer, he helped himself to tomatoes, and managed to carry a tomato larger than his head up to the top of the fence, where he sat and calmly devoured it.

I will admit I thought about finding a rock, and wondered if I could knock him off the fence.  But my aim isn’t so good, and the neighbor would probably prefer not to have rocks flying over the fence, so I dismissed that idea.

I knew someone who used to trap chipmunks and drive them to a park to release them.  She swore they came back within two or three days. Would a squirrel be smart enough to do that?  I don’t know, but I don’t want a squirrel in my car. I may be mean enough to contemplate trapping squirrels, but I’m not mean enough to do it. So it remains undone.

I read about a gardener who scattered chopped onions in the garden and the squirrels stayed away. An appealingly natural solution, but how many onions would I have to chop for a 200 sq-foot garden? It sounds like a daunting task, and I was not sure it would work, so the onions remain unchopped.

Then another natural solution presented itself. I read Neil Garrison’s column in the Daily Oklahoman on December 27, 2024 entitled “Procrastination is This Owl’s Downfall.” The procrastination referred to is in advising the reader not to delay building an owl nesting box. The box was to be completed by February 15, which is already past. But keep it in mind for next year. 

Why should a person who is not a fan of squirrels care about an owl nesting box? Well, what do owls eat?  They eat rodents, and squirrels are rodents (just like rats).

I wondered how this might work; owls are active at night, and squirrels are active during the day. But then it seemed obvious: there is a sliver of time when the end of night fades into the beginning of day. An owl might be wrapping things up on his way home, and a squirrel might be starting his day. The two collide and there you have it – after a long night of finding breakfast, lunch, and dinner, the owl gets a little something extra.  In other words, the squirrel is dessert. This creates the perfect chain of events – the owl gets dessert, and the squirrel gets his just deserts.

It's Nature’s way.